Does your partner exhibit more anger and remain disconnected from you? Do your partner shout at you and you experience a conflict of communication? If yes, then there is a greater probability that he is suffering from an anxiety disorder. Male anxiety in relationships is a common but challenging issue. Anxiety in men is also manifest in different ways. Most of the males experience the symptoms of anxiety disorder but their condition is often ignored. Due to their anxiousness, their relationships are also affected.
They interpret that their partners do not love them and so their conflicts can lead to their breakups. This article is a comprehensive guide to male anxiety in relationships. You will also understand how anxiety in men affects their relationships and what causes anxiety in males. Moreover, you will also understand the useful ways to overcome the male anxiety that affects relationships, professional life and overall well-being. In the end, you will get familiar with ways that how you can effectively communicate with your partner to strengthen your bond.
Understanding Male Anxiety
Anxiety is a body’s natural response after exposure to any distressing situation. However, if the period of anxiousness gets prolonged without any apparent reason then this indicates the presence of anxiety disorder.
Anxiety is a prevalent issue in men but unfortunately, their mental condition is not considered and they do not seek help more often than females. However, the symptoms of anxiety are the same in both men and women. When males are battling with anxiety, they exhibit more anger outbursts and start shouting at their partner. In addition, they utilize different ways to overcome their condition such as using excessive alcohol or drug abuse.
Moreover, they have a strong feeling of insecurity and dread. Likewise, they have also an increased fear of vulnerability due to their past toxic relationships or traumatic situations. They remain lost in their stressful thoughts and gradually start self-doubt. They think that they have certain flaws in their personality and therefore their partner does not love them.
What are the signs of Male Anxiety in Relationships?
The most common signs of male anxiety in relationships are as follows:
1. Overthinking
Male anxiety in relationships is directly linked to overthinking as it is one of the common symptoms of anxiety. Males overthink about their personality traits. They think that they have multiple personality flaws and they can not make their partner happy. Likewise, they also think that they can not give their best to their partners.
2. Withdrawal
Males suffering from anxiety disorder give priority to their isolation as they feel happy as a free bird. Due to their fear of vulnerability and insecurity, they do not have serious relationships. Their fear is due to past traumatic life experiences as they believe that the same harsh thing will gonna happen again. Therefore whenever they feel that they are getting closer to anyone, they drag themselves away emotionally from others to avoid any potential hurt.
3. Anger
Anger is also one of the common and major symptoms of anxiety in men. Instead of open communication, they only exhibit their anger outburst and frustration. Their rude and toxic behaviour then affects their personal or romantic relationships.
4. Preoccupation with work & status
Dedication is quite good and essential for professional life. However excessive stress is harmful to mental health. Those males who take excessive stress about their jobs are more suffer from male anxiety in relationships as compared to others. They always take mental pressure to achieve their financial goals. In some cases, their anxiety is the main source of motivation while if the anxiousness gets prolonged and affects daily life functions then individuals should take a pause and think about overcoming their anxiety. If they become workaholics then they only pay attention to their professional life and avoid focusing on their relationships.
5. Difficulty in relationships
Whether you are new in your relationship or your relationship status is quite old now, you can face multiple issues due to your anxiety. In both cases, individuals have to face ups and downs for the success of their relationship. Moreover, those males who have been single for a longer period and suddenly find a new mate then they often experience social anxiety in seldom date.
6. Compulsive behavior
Men grappling with anxiety usually get involved in repetitive behavior. Drinking beer every night or taking any drug becomes a habit of most males. However, they only get relief from the anxiety for a shorter period. As soon as they stop doing their compulsive behavior, they again get tangled into the phase of anxiety or depression.
What are the causes of Male Relationship Anxiety?
Multiple causes induce anxiety in men which then affects their relationships such as:
1. Past relationships
Those men who have bad previous experiences of relationships are more frustrated and remain in continuous fear and stress. They think that those previous toxic things that ruined their previous relationships can happen again. Due to this, they have an extreme fear of vulnerability in their current relationships. They do not trust their partners and think they will get cheated by themselves. Their unresolved emotions from past relationships and feelings of insecurity prevent them from making a positive and stronger bond with their partner or loved ones.
2. Childhood trauma
Different studies have reported a strong association between childhood trauma and male anxiety and depression in relationships. Those men who are the victims of traumatic situations in their childhood are more prone to suffer from anxiety. Moreover, those males who have been the sufferers of childhood abuse or sexual abuse feel more issues in their adult relationships. In addition, they have reduced confidence and self-esteem and therefore face difficulty in sharing their thoughts and opinions with their partners. If they communicate then they face conflict. Furthermore, they do not feel intimacy with their partner and they do not express their emotions easily. Male anxiety in relationships can also affect sexual performance.
3. Societal expectations
As males encounter more societal pressures, they have to follow more norms of society. They are usually psychologically trained from their childhood stages so that they do not have to make their feeling and emotions evident. Therefore, they mostly face the barriers of communication with their partners. They do not easily tell their emotions, thoughts and requirements to their partner which in turn can negatively affect their relationships.
4. Generalized anxiety disorders
Those males who are grappling with a generalized anxiety disorder also face multiple issues in their relationships. The prolonged phase of stress that they are facing can majorly affect their romantic lives. They do not feel satisfied with their partners due to their feelings of insecurity. Moreover, their fears which are specific to their relationships can make their bonds more susceptible to breaking.
What is the impact of Past Relationships?
Past relationships or experiences exert a strong influence on mental health such as:
1. Childhood attachments
Childhood attachments can shape adult attachments in individuals, especially males. Past relationships act as a blueprint and are responsible for shaping the style of new teenage or adulthood relationships. If males had secured relationships or attachments with the caregivers then they would not face any issues in their adult relationships. They have built confidence and do not feel any kind of insecurity with their partners. Moreover, they also exhibit better intimacy and satisfy their partners physically and sexually.
2. Projecting emotions
In every toxic previous relationship, emotions are tangled and remain unresolved. Therefore they show their unexpected and undesired tantrums to their partners and project their emotions onto their current partners. This results the conflict among them and face the complexities in their relationships.
3. The role of attachment styles
The attachment theory was first created in the 1950s by the psychologist John Bowlby. This theory explains the complete framework that how early or initial relationships of infants, and young children with their primary caregivers influence adult relationships. The early interactions and their extent decide what type of attachment you will develop later in your life. However, adult relationships can change with time due to environmental factors and treatment including psychotherapy.
The following are the different common attachment styles:
4. Secure attachment
Children are usually more sensitive and therefore require more abrupt and positive responses from their caretakers or parents. If they are treated well then do not develop feelings of insecurity or distrust for their current partners. Moreover, they also have increased confidence, courage or self-esteem.
5. Anxious attachment
If the caregiver does not provide an immediate response then the child unconsciously feels fear and anxiety. Moreover, a sense of uncertainty also develops in them which in turn negatively affects their later life relationships.
6. Avoidant attachment
Avoidant attachments are the major cause of reduced emotional closeness. If caregivers do not provide their emotional support and more often remain unresponsive then children suffer from anxiety in relationships in their teenage or adult stages. Moreover, they also become self-sufficient and do not make close bonds with their partners in the adulthood stages of their lives.
7. Disorganized attachment
In this attachment style, caregivers do not show their complete emotional support. They behave frighteningly and do not make their attachment strategy prominent. Therefore they experience contradictory behavior in the child.
What are the effects of Male Anxiety on Relationships?
Male anxiety has a strong and major influence on relationships such as:
1. Emotional instability
Due to continuous feelings of sadness or fear, males are unable to exhibit their emotions. They think that they are playing the role of emotional caretakers instead of equals. This then leads to a sense of resentment.
2. Communication breakdown
Due to anxiety, males are unable to effectively communicate with their partners and therefore they usually misinterpret the opinions or thoughts of their partners.
3. Negative coping mechanisms
To cope with the effects of negative relationships, males start engaging in negative activities such as excessive intake of alcohol or misuse of drugs.
4. Controlling behavior
Most of the men who feel frustration or anxiety try to control their partners. They think that by taking control over their partner, they can reduce their anxiety levels. However, controlling behavior is not acceptable in any case.
5. Emotional distance
Males suffering from anxiety usually face the issue of emotional distance from their partners. When males become anxious, then they exhibit more hypersensitivity. They show an increased response to any signs of rejection or threats. Due to this, they face unexpected and unnecessary conflicts which can ruin their relationship stability. This behavior then becomes a major reason for their withdrawal from their partners and they prefer to stay alone.
Male Anxiety vs Female Anxiety
Although anxiety is common in both men and women, women’s anxiousness gets more severe as compared to men’s. Most of the females are usually more open regarding their mental health as they openly share what they feel. On the other hand, males usually hide what they feel and therefore their anxious symptoms usually remain undiagnosed. Furthermore, the symptoms of anxiety in men are also different from those of women. Women usually exhibit more hypersensitivity while males show more hyperactive symptoms.
How do men handle their Anxiety?
The following are the most common ways that men use to handle their anxiety.
1. Substance abuse
There is a concept in a male-dominated society that taking alcohol or any non-prescription drugs is normal. Males drink to get relief from their anxiety or for disconnection from their distressing thoughts. Those males who are the victims of social anxiety also prefer drinking and taking drugs before meeting new people or joining any conversation. They think that they can only gain confidence after having a peg of wine or beer before any conversation. However, the excessive use of alcohol or drugs is not beneficial for health.
2. Men don’t cry
When women do not feel happy or emotional instability occurs, they start crying. They usually vent out their all emotions with excessive crying. However, males don’t do this and they simply retain their all emotions inside them. They think that they are normal but in reality, they are just making an explosive material inside them that can burst anytime. They simply bottled up their all feelings, emotions and thoughts instead of just speaking up. This in turn negatively affects their relationships. They do not feel satisfied and also obtain dissatisfaction from their partners.
3. Workout Schedule
Physical workouts are also considered the best way to deal with anxiety. Different studies have reported that when you do exercise, your muscles get stretched and there is an increased blood supply to the brain which in turn can stimulate different brain regions to perform their function. So don’t just pull your muscles, give your mind a fresh start by alleviating the male anxiety symptoms.
How to manage Relationship Anxiety?
Every male needs to understand that getting anxious is normal. Therefore they have to accept the challenge of anxiety and make some effective measures how to develop coping strategies to prevent male anxiety in a relationship.
1. Acknowledgement
First, you should accept those challenges that are making your life difficult. Find out those trigger factors that are reducing your happiness and then make a strategy to deal with them. So you can protect your relationships from the anxiety.
2. Positive self-talk
Do not say anything negative about yourself. Always try to use some positive words for your personality as whatever you say about yourself, your mind will focus on that and generate the memory that ultimately affects your mood and behavior.
3. Self-care
If you want to stay mentally active then start taking care of yourself. Focus on your diet and sleep-wake patterns. Moreover, also make a schedule of daily workouts so you remain mentally strong and get rid of your all anxious thoughts to deal with male anxiety in relationships.
4. Encourage your partners
The best way to improve male anxiety in relationships is to always think positively for your partner. Never discourage your partner and always please them in different ways. Try to make them happy and feel free to share your emotions and thoughts.
5. Breaking negative patterns
If you want to overcome male anxiety in relationships then the first thing you should do is to break the negative thought patterns that affect the relationships. For this, identify the negative patterns and causes that stem from past relationships and destroying your current relationships. By dealing with them, you can smartly overcome anxiety and its negative effects on relationships.
6. Self-exploration
Those males who always think negatively about themselves should stop thinking this and always explore the positive aspects of their personality.
7. Seeking professional help
If you think that you can not handle your anxiety then you can also get professional help. Experts not only provide the treatment of anxiety but also guide the ways to overcome anxiety.
8. Breathwork & Meditation exercises
With the help of breathing and meditation exercises, individuals can feel relaxed. By practicing the mediation exercises, not only do the emotions acquire stability but the individuals also acquire complete well-being.
9. Show kindness to yourself
Always remember that you are not less than anyone. All the standards set by the society do not apply to each man. If you are a man and you feel some stress, then you can extract your emotions. Moreover, do not focus on your past relationships and enjoy your present relationships without any fear.
Treatment of Male Anxiety
The male anxiety treatment comprises the following:
1. Cognitive behavioral therapy
Cognitive behavioral therapy is the most common type of psychotherapy that is used to treat mental health issues including anxiety. This therapy is not gender specific as any individual including male and female can benefit from this therapy and treat their distorted thought patterns. Moreover, cognitive behavioral experts guide individuals that how they can identify the trigger factors that are responsible for the development of anxiety. Individuals also learn those strategies that they can use to overcome the anxiety that affects their relationships.
2. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
If the male anxiety is due to past traumatic life experiences then this therapy can work better. Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy is ideal for overcoming trauma and its effects. During this therapy session, individuals are asked to move their eyes while thinking about their past traumatic life scenarios. By doing this, they can reduce the intensity of emotions associated with the traumas.
Concluding thoughts
Male anxiety in relationships is one of the major challenging issues that need to be addressed. Males experiencing anxiety exhibit more anger and frustration toward their partners. Due to their continuous sadness, they do not find any happiness in their relationships. Males have to suffer a lot in different areas of their life due to their anxiety including personal and professional life. Moreover, their anxious state also negatively affects their relationships. However, there are multiple ways to get rid of the male anxiety that can affect relationships. With the help of specific treatment and coping strategies, males can eradicate their anxiety and enjoy healthy and productive relationships.
However, if you or any other male you know is suffering from anxiety then you should immediately prepare your mind to seek professional help. Multiple platforms provide mental health services for the treatment of common mental health issues in both males and females. Brainpower Wellness Institute is one of the leading mental health platforms that offers the best solutions for male anxiety in relationships. We have a team of professional, licensed and skilled mental health experts who provide the top treatment of anxiety in males. Moreover, they also provide mental health counselling so individuals can better learn how they can deal with their anxious thoughts that can affect their relationships. So stop searching for a male anxiety therapist near me and find the best ways to manage anxiety in relationships specifically male anxiety in relationships. Reach out to Brainpower Wellness Institute and schedule a consultation with our experts to vanish your anxiety now and live a stress-free life.
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